I've been thinking about the topic of forgiveness. Before I became a Believer four months ago, I always had a hard time forgiving myself whenever I would "blow it." I would be mad at myself and beating myself up for months about certain things that would happen.
When I was at my mission agency's headquarters, when I first came back to the states a little more than a year ago in November, a dear friend pulled me aside and said, "Crystal? Can I ask you something? I don't want to judge, but everything you say about not being able to forgive yourself makes me wonder if you understand God's forgiveness for you."
UGG!!! I was starting to figure it all out---you know...that I wasn't a believer---and was nowhere near admitting it.
But my friend was right--she had hit the nail on the head. I didn't understand God's forgiveness and therefore had a hard time even beginning to forgive myself.
It is amazing what happens when you finally trust in Christ and understand that He died to forgive you---then you are able to forgive yourself MUCH more easily.
Sometimes I think as believers, it can be a little hard to forgive ourselves if we start listening to the lies instead of God's truth--but when we keep God's truth in perspective, we realize that Jesus Christ already paid the price so that we could be forgiven.....forever.
I like this quote "God can take your sinful past and make it work together for your good--so brilliantly and beautifully that you will be tempted to say that, this is the way it was suppose to be!" (R. T. Kendall, Total Forgiveness, page 154)
I'll write more on "forgiveness" another day!